Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
