No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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