its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
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