You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
