Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's blow job season.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
