she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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