her vagina looked like bernie madoff
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
