my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
