Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
