tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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