I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
