He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize