and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
last night I used snow as a chaser
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize