the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
