can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
