your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
