yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
