I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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