I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he was CRYING into my vagina
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize