so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
