shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
