you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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