If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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