Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
