Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
