I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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