they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
