I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
