The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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