Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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