Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
well you can't waste a boner
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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