I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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