You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
