he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
