Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
