I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
