the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
this is an emotional support booty call
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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