Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize