it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
