Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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