You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
