I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
