I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
