I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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