Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I wear drunk well.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
