She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize