No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
