so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize