Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
