Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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