just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
