Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
