You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize