so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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