I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
