Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
