So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It's never too late to be topless.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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