I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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