I'm jealous of your bromance
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
