what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
