it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
