Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
