Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Houston, we have a squirter
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
