I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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