hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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