she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
