i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
