i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
