I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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