CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
