Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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