fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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