I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
