I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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