Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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