Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
